![]() and with that in mind, i wish i could’ve gone to church today. but i do, finally, in an unsurprisingly abstract sense, get where i place my faith. i still struggle to keep biblical stories and greco-roman myths straight, and despite my ‘A’ in earth-space science, I’m still a little hazy on the whole rain thing. I still identify to others, defiantly and genuinely, as a muslim. and my faith in doing what’s right doesn’t fade. but bumped and bruised, my faith in these people is enduring. and the faith i do have is admittedly a bit shaken. i have faith in kay, and lucy, and ruthie, and the bredthauers, and the ringwalts, and bob, and zaiga, and jess, and every other hug and friendly face that i know is waiting for me when i walk through the doors on the sundays that i’m home. i have faith in jane, and chris, and debra, and cynthia, whose sermons have made me feel welcome in a place i was never really supposed to be. i have faith in donna and coyner who took a chance on a 16 year old girl they’d only known for a short time, and gave me the world in a way my mom never could but always dreamt of. i have faith in vanessa who reassures me with absolute certainty that her dad and my mom are together, swapping stories, at peace. i have faith in families like the devines who glorify their God simply by being good and honest people, and by welcoming me so immediately into their lives. i have faith in grant who patiently teaches me why he believes the things he does. i have faith in marissa who makes jesus seem less like an intimidating force and more like a good friend. i have faith in claire, kelli, and hannah who know that to emulate jesus is to act in the best interests of as many people as possible. i have faith in thien, whose catholicism and passion for sustainability makes him a better steward of this earth than i could ever hope to be. i have faith in ellen, whose time as a missionary for the Church of LDS somehow made her even more full of joy and altruism. i have faith in gabe, whose social media game is surpassed in strength only by his convictions.Īnd, as a nebraskan, i have crossed paths with a fair few christians. i have faith in ariel, who is jewish, but more importantly is equally fierce and warm in her pursuits of justice. I have faith in lacey, who is muslim, and works tirelessly and selflessly to help refugees make their way to the united states. and i have faith in the people who have the faith in God i never figured out. i have faith in the people who defy societal expectations by being good despite a lack of faith in a God. i have faith in poetry, and in the keys of pianos. i have faith in platelets, and politics, and purposeful, peaceful protest. she considered it a failing as a parent that i never quite mastered ‘faith’, but i would argue now that she did. ![]() What i’m trying to say to you is that religion has always been a weird part of my life, and to my mom’s dismay it’s been one i always met with skepticism. somehow this all created a little girl named leemah, brimming with wide-eyed wonder at the world, confused about the difference between Allah (SWT) and Zeus, but mostly curious about if perhaps they lived where rain fell from. That devout sunni muslim mother was also a doctor who instilled in me a love of science and greek mythology. i looked forward to Eid, fasted age-appropriate amounts for Ramadan, and to this day i consider lamb its own food group. the thing about Islam is it kind of starts to feel like all you ever do is pray. i didn’t eat pork (still don’t, most of the time). i dressed modestly (still do, most of the time). i went to the equivalent of sunday school at our local mosque. I was raised by a devout sunni muslim mother. first united methodist church is always, always exceptional. I go to church every sunday that i’m home with them, and while this prayer time does sound exceptional, it isn’t much off of par for the course. Donna and I sat there with tears rolling down our cheeks for five minutes. During the prayer time a member of the congregation stood up and said “today I am a Muslim, pray for me.” Then another did, then another, then another, etc. This afternoon (as in, Sunday the 29th), Coyner texted me saying: I wish you had been at church with us today. (and other things i never expected myself to say)
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